We Don't Need You
by datgurlwiththacurlz
Summary: Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak both applied for The Coon and Friends, but didn't get in. Feeling abandoned, the boys decide they should go their way. T - Contains very strong language. Inspired by 'We Regret To Inform You That...', an illustration by 'ThatGlassDoll'. Craig Tucker POV.
1. Chapter 1- Rejected

**We Don't Need You  
Chapter 1- Rejected**

Waiting anxiously, me and Tweek listened to the winds howls in silence. Saying not a word we looked at each other with anticipation. He was dressed in his Lord Of The Rings outfit, I was in my Spaceman outfit.  
Suddenly, there was a noise that came from downstairs, sounded like something had come through the letterbox.  
"**Go and get it Craig!**!" Tweek yells out, struggling to keep his excitement in.  
I run downstairs, almost tripping over Stripe's food mom had left outside my bedroom door.  
Picking up all of the mail, I clumsily catch my boot on the landing pillar, making a small hole in it. I dashed back upstairs and into my room, and jumped on the bed, almost sending Tweek flying. But he didn't care.

"come on, which one is it?!" Tweek shouts as we ruffled our way through the mail to find what we were looking for.  
There it was, "To Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak"  
I ripped open the letter like an animal, as Stripe came up to my bed, looking up at me.  
I pick him up and put him on the bed, so he could share the excitement.  
Then, Tweek's cell rang.  
"H-hello? Oh hi Clyde. WHAT? Y-you got in? Sweet! And Token too?"  
I opened the letter, I couldn't believe it...  
"Us? No we haven't opened ours y-yet"  
I read it again to make sure I hadn't misread it.  
"we'll let you know, bye"  
He looks over at me, "what's it say Craig?"  
I didn't reply.  
"ugghh, Craig?"

After a minute, I tell him.  
"Dear Craig and Tweek," I read, "thank for your request to join Coon and Friends, but unfortunately, we couldn't validate your request, so it had to be rejected. I'm sorry if this bothers you but...you're just not cool enough. Sorry - Stan Marsh"  
Tweek gasps, "_what?!_"  
"I'm not reading it out again" I look up to him, "our application for Coon and Friends got rejected."  
"But...but Clyde and Token both got in!"  
"I know, but we didn't" I sighed, "what assholes!"  
"but why not us?" Tweek shivers, "we could be great additions to the Coon and Friends, w-we could be great heroes!"  
"we're not good enough for them, did Clyde tell you who else got in?"  
"yeah-uh. T-Timmy and Bradley"  
"**Fucking Timmy and Fucking Bradley Biggle!?** Well what heroes they'd be!"  
"I know right!" after a few seconds of silence, he starts to cry.  
"what's up with ya? Yeah I'm pissed off, but I'm not crying about it! They're just assholes Tweek!"  
"I know but I just feel like I'm not wanted, I mean, ever since they kicked me out of their gang it's been almost as if they hate me, and I don't know what I've done"  
"you can do without them dude. It's not like they were _that_ much of a big impact on your life, were they?"  
"well...no, not really"  
"well then stop weeping and feeling sorry for yourself and man up, dude!"


	2. Chapter 2 - The Start of Something New

**We Don't Need You: Chapter 2- The Start Of Something New**

It was weekend and we were bored out of our asses. Coon and Friends were apparently selling cookies in the mall, which was a little bit better than what we were doing.  
"shall we watch Terrance and Phillip?"  
"Nope"  
"...throw coke cans at the Jefferson's house?"  
"Naah"  
"what about a game of baseball?"  
"...what, with just two of us?"  
"oh...yeah"

Tweek walks over to a rock and kicks it, "Ugh, dammit! This freakin SUCKS!"  
"you're only sulking because we didn't get into that stupid coon and friends club, come on dude, get over it!"  
"ggh, that's not why I'm sulking, man!...I'm not even sulking!"  
I looked Tweek in the eye, "Tweek...your face looks like a _spanked ass_"  
"fine! Maybe I am sulking! But I've had a bad day..."  
I pat his shoulder, "we can be better than them! We've just gotta try! And not act super offended like you are!"  
"for fuck's sake Craig! I'm not bothered in anyway about that pathetic club! I'm just bored out of my mind!"  
Tweek _is_ out of his mind. But I don't blame him. Maybe the reason why he's so worked up over nothing is because of all that coffee he drinks.

Then, someone knocks on my back gate.  
Its Token and Clyde.  
Just the guys we need right now.  
"hey guys! So did you get accepted or what?"  
Tweek let's out a huge sigh, before twitching again "no...we didn't"  
"awh man" Token puts his arm around me, "that sucks...we got in though!"  
"yeah I know..." I say through gritted teeth, he's pissing me off now.  
Why don't you just shove it in my face, Token? The fact that I got left out by everybody else and am probably now unpopular?  
I try and find a way to get rid of my so called best friends, "Clyde, haven't you got tuition in an hour?"  
"no, it's cancelled, mom can't take me. Why?"  
"umm it's just me and Tweek are having our dinner soon, and my dad won't approve of you two being here. Ya know, cuz he'll have to cook for you if you're still here"

...I think that's the worse excuse I've ever made up...

"you're dads a nice guy, surely he won't mind?"  
"yeah...he will!"  
"hey, you two wanna go and see a movie with Stan and Kyle and those guys?"  
"no, not really. Besides, like I said, dinners almost ready"  
"awh come on Craig-"  
"oh, did I just hear my dad calling me? Tweek, you just heard my dad shout us, didn't you?" I nudge him.  
"umm, yeah...I did! I think we have to go in now!"  
Clyde shrugs "can't you just tell your dad you're staying out for a bit longer? Thats what you usually do-"  
"**OKAY I THINK YOU NEED TO GO NOW IT WAS NICE SEEING YOU GUYS BUT WE HAVE TO GO IN NOW SEE YA!**"  
I literally shove Clyde and Token out of the gate. Phew, glad that's over with...

When they're out of sight, Tweek uncontrollably falls into hysterics "DUDE! How many different excuses did you just use?!"  
"ha ha! I lost count"  
A long silence follows, then Tweek pipes up "ya know...I was thinking, do you think we could make our own club? Like Coon and Friends...but even better?"  
"but isn't that just copying them?"  
"well no, because we're better than them!"  
"...you have a point"  
"RGH! _Come on_! It'll be fun!...and it'll stop us being bored!"

I think for a second.  
He sounds like he means serious shit.  
That means he'd probably want to spend almost everyday with me.  
Almost everyday with Tweek Tweak?  
_Hmm._  
I'm not too sure. If I do that, there's a good chance he'll give me his AIDs or whatever illness he has.  
Or his coffee addiction.  
Cartman told me that stuff like that spreads like wildfire.  
I don't wanna be a coffee maniac like Tweek!  
Jesus Christ.

Oh, what the hell, fuck it. I couldn't care less about that.  
"sure whatever, I'll give it a go"  
"awesome! So...what are we gonna be called?"  
"I'll be Spaceman Craig, and you can be...umm..."  
"SuperTweek? CoffeeBoy?"  
"Espress-O? Mocha latte? Lord of the Tweeks?"  
He rolls his eyes, "...seriously dude"  
"I can't think of anything else!"  
"fine then, I'll be fucking Espress-O"  
"okay! So, I'm Spaceman Craig, and you are Espress-O, and together we are...umm...OH I KNOW! Together we are...**THE CREEKBUSTERS!**"  
"Dude, ngh, that's just copying Ghostbusters!"  
"oh for the love of...alright...we'll be called...um...**THE CREEKIBLES!**"  
"But isn't that copying The Inc..."  
"just shut the fuck up, Tweek..."


	3. Chapter 3- South Park's Latest Additions

**Chapter 3- South Park's Latest Additions**

Next day, we go to the mall to buy some neat costumes. We spot Coon and Friends selling cookies again, but this time, Cartman wasn't with them. We hear Stan calling over to us, I ignore him, but looks like Tweek wasn't thinking the same way. He walks over to the stand where Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Token, Clyde, Bradley and Timmy sit.  
"hey, what are you guys doing here?" Token looks up from organising money.  
"...we were just gonna go and buy some sweets, what are _YOU_ doing here?"  
"we're selling cookies to raise money for charity" Kyle beams at us, "Try that new shop that opened just round the corner! I think it's called 'Harrisons' or something?"  
"w-we're going there now" says Tweek, taking a good gander at the cookies on sale, "hey, ugh, can I b-buy one of these?"  
"sure! That'll be one Mintberry Crunch dollar sir!" Bradley thrusts his arm out excitedly.  
"a w-what dollar...?"  
"I'm kidding, silly! One dollar, Tweek, my good friend"  
He passes the dollar across the table, in which Bradley jumps up, throws it at Token, and sits back down again, almost falling off his chair while doing so.  
"Thank you Tweek! We really appreciate it. That dollar's going to needy people in poor countries" says Kyle.  
"do you wanna buy one Craig?" Clyde hands a cookie in my direction.  
"I'll pass" I push the cookie away.  
"so...we'll see you guys at school tomorrow then" says Stan, stuffing his face with a cookie.  
"yeah, bye!" We walk away, Tweek with a giant grin on his face.

"TWEEK!? Why did you buy a cookie?!"  
"I like cookies? What, am I not allowed to buy stuff!?"  
"Tweek, they rejected us. Why are you talking to them?"  
"well I'm not the type who goes all grumpy on people like you! I'm still friends with them!"  
"but why, Tweek? They're dicks!"  
"n-no they're not Craig! They just didn't want us in their group, maybe there wasn't enough room for us or something like that. I-I don't think they hate us!"  
I sigh at him, "dude, _please_ don't tell me you're changing your mind about this. You said to me that they're treating you like they hate you; they must have something against you. And me...well I don't even have to explain why they hate me..."  
"mm..." he looks at the floor, obviously rethinking once again.

Nothing more is said until we arrive at the costume store, and we see Kevin Stoley walking through a whole bunch of Star Wars outfits.  
"**hey!**" he enthusiastically waves and bounds up to us.  
"what're you doing here, Kev?"  
"I came to return my stormtrooper outfit, I bought it for something but now I'm not in it anymore"  
"oh..." me and Tweek almost say in sync, obviously not interested at all.  
Kevin's not stupid, he sees that we're bored, and changes the subject instantly, "...hey I just saw Stan and the guys selling cookies in super hero outfits!"  
"Yeah, us too" I roll my eyes.  
"Thats Coon and Friends, right? I applied for that!"  
Tweek looks surprised. I don't know why. It's totally normal for Kevin to go to them dressed as a stormtrooper or Yoda or whoever the fuck is in Star Wars, "yeah so did we, but we didn't get in...did you?"  
"nope! But I don't care! They can stick it up their ass!"  
I pat his shoulder, "that's exactly what I thought! Not sure about Tweek here, though..."  
"hey! I'm not _that_ bothered about it! I don't care whether I'm a part of Coon and Friends or not!"  
"then why do you keep complaining about it?"  
He twitches, "well...um...because...because I can!"

That has got to be one of the worst comebacks Tweek has used on me. Another being, "you're never gonna get a girlfriend cuz your face isn't pretty at all!"  
Me and Tweek argue all the time. Usually over stupid things that happen at school and involve other people. We still end up being best friends again the week after, so it's no big deal to us.  
That's a good thing about him, I guess. He's reliable.

"hmph, whatever then..." I look back at Kevin, who's used to this shit - so he's just stood there like an idiot, as per usual.  
"so umm...what're you guys here for?"  
I look at Tweek, wondrous on what to say, "we just got bored, so we're looking around places..."  
"oh ok...well, I'd better be heading home! I'm supposed to be at dodgeball practice in an hour, so I'll see you guys around!" Kevin says, looking at his plastic Ben 10 watch and hurriedly dashing off.

Tweek looks at me, "d-dude, why is that kid always in a rush?"  
"no clue" I just shrug, as we continue our way down the aisles of fancy dress costumes.  
We separate into different sections of the store so that we can find the right costumes we both need quickly. In other words, our mom's will be wondering where we are.

"CRAIG! Over here! I found something!" Tweek shouts from the opposite end of the store. I quickly run over to him to see what he's picked out.  
"I found this for me, do you think I should wear it?"  
It's a white body suit, along with a red cape, a red mask and some red shiny boots. "I could get rid of that logo in the middle of the suit and make my own one!"  
Hmph, Looks superhero-ey enough to me.  
"yeah, that's pretty cool" I say, trying not to show too much expression.  
"and hey, how about this for you Craig?" he brings over a blue skin-tight body suit with a shiny silver tophat, blue pointy boots, and some sort of wand thing to go with it.  
I just stare blankly at it. If he thinks I'm wearing that fag-wear, he's got another thing coming!  
"Tweek...now go and try to pick something that _doesn't_ make me look gay..."  
"o-oh...alright, sorry Craig..." he says shyly and he scurries over to another rack of costumes while I take a gander at some of the more expensive stuff.  
I've got my own pocket money. At least my parents won't go ballistic at me spending their money again. In fact, I'm quite surprised I even earned this much pocket money in one week. Not like me at all...

I continue to wonder around the section, until I come across something I really liked the look of.  
Tweek see's that I like what I'm seeing, and comes plodding up behind me to take a look. "you like that don't you Craig?" he smirks.  
"hell yeah..." it's a light blue suit with another crappy logo on it (but I'll take care of that), an actual spaceman's helmet, silver boots, silver gloves, and it comes with a pack of two walkie talkies that actually work.  
"but dude, t-these are expensive! How are you gonna pay for it?"  
"easy. Like this." I grab the costume, take it over to the cashier, and buy it with my two weeks earned pocket money. It's as simple as that, Tweek.  
"oh..." he obviously feels stupid for saying that now, "well, I guess I'll pay for mine then too. Luckily, I managed to steal some of my dad's wages without him knowing, hopefully he won't ever find out!"  
"well good luck with that" I'm too distracted by my brilliant new costume to give a damn about Tweek's problems right now.

"We are gonna look SO great in these!" Tweek says excitedly as we exit the store.  
I smirk at him,"yup...and we're gonna show those Coon and Friends who the REAL super heroes are!"


End file.
